I have been cleaning my layer for a long time, but it never seems to be clean. I've been changing my skin and sanitizing it, hoping I can release anything thats not worth leeching. My wings have been packed, but I'm not going anywhere. The edge of this mountain I dwell is nearing, but I only look to the clouds. How I envy the clouds. Recycle, renew, wash away all the fears. You always know when to cry dear clouds. You always know when to make the scene appropriate. Well, I wish I could shed tears for some things, but I shall not. I wish I could fly off this cliff, but I could only fall. So I pull off my shoulder the package containing my wings. I reach my arm out over the sea. I release, and watch the wings fall.

If winter hasn't changed me, then I'm a lost boy. I must be hoping the world is not too tall. I want to see everything. Yet I want to see nothing, I want to see everything as it should be, not as it is. If we could see things all for the good, we will be ok. I walk back to my layer. I walk back there to simply claim all of my life I could never save. What do I do with that? I save it. I save it because it's the one I've got for now. If I want to survive, I've got to realize that there is never a rock bottom to any pit. But there is never an end to the sky or the heavens. I choose to save myself, because nobody else can. I save myself because I didn't think I could. I save myself, because if the world wanted me dead, then I would be.

I live on. Summer is nearing, and I've got to make it catch fire. I need to burn the summer down. Make it a summer worth something. Make a summer that replaces the past summers. A summer where I am free. Where I can stretch my arms out and catch whatever I need. I am the boy from the mountains, I look down to the sea. One day I may join you. One day this might be. I've watched as you tried to climb my heights. But I have been too high up. I watched as you crawled back down my walls, and laid back for a while. I envy the clouds, they cry to you, as you cry to them. You are the clouds. But an enlightened form. You remember nothing, but being a storm. One day I may join you, one day might be soon. But I might instead, be carried off to the moon. Where ever I am, always stay true. I always hope that you find what you need, and always think of me on the moon.



-andy v